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Joke of the Day

"waiter: ""what drink would you like"" me: "" l "" waiter: me: waiter: me: waiter: me: waiter: ""is pepsi okay"""

"All the workers at the nuclear reactor plant left work. They left a sign at the door. What did it say? Sorry! Gone fission."

"Why did god invent whiskey? (x-post /r/drunkjokes) So the Irish would never rule the world"

"Meanwhile in business news... ...balloon prices are plummeting. Experts are putting it down to a poor inflation rate"

"What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NA!"

"Why do Americans drink their tea cold? Because it takes too long to boil Boston Harbor."

"Did you hear about the theft at the babysitter convention? The police ended up searching every crooked nanny"

"How do you hear a hormone? Pay $100 for 30 minutes"

"I want to start my own distillery, but i'm a bit hesitant.... it's a whisky business."

"What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike? An Ethiopian"