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Joke of the Day
"What did the gamer say to the fleeing prisoner? Run! escape!"
Next Joke
"What am I gonna do with a river? Could you cry me a beer?"
"Maybe the back door is the wrong door. -Hillary Clinton"
"I'm simultaneously drinking Starbucks and a Monster, in case I need to do something extreme and be a snob about it, within the next 30 min."
"Doctor Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off. Oh dear that's a lot of calories!"
"What did the group of unborn babies say when they were hungry? Fetus."
"Being an adult is 90% worrying about money and 10% spending money you don't have on treats because you've worried a lot this week."
"The ex just asked me how can one have a soulmate if one has no soul? Wonder which of us he was referring to?"
"""Son, would you like to go to college some day, or would you like to keep ordering guac? Your choice."""
"Me: I'm nauseous. WebMD: Stop looking in the mirror."