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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if stereotypically romantic Spanish characters...talk in pauses...because they learned...how to speak English...by watching...the subtitles...of romantic movies."

"In the car and passed by a cop and my 12 year old says ""everyone be cool! Act normal!"" Expecting that Father of the Year award any day now"

"I've heard addicts claim that heroin became their ""God"" but... ...they're always taking his name in vein."

"I went for a check-up today, the dr. said everything looked good... Then he stuck his finger up my ass and declared everything there was good also.... I think I may need to find a new dentist."

"The only reason most men are homophobic is because they are afraid of being hit on in the same manner that they do to women(cat call)"

"I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with a baseball bat."

"Which Hollywood actress has made sure all sci-fi movies like alien; ghostbusters; avatar & chappie are ""woven"" together? Sigourney ""Weaver"" :P"

"Sorry I ate your baby but you shouldn't have wrapped it like a burrito."

"Sir, the breadsticks are limitless, not unlimited. You only get one but its potential as a breadstick knows no bounds."

"I bet ninjas have the worst gas... ...because they're silent but deadly."