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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold? One knows the stops the other stops the nose."

"To err is human, to arr is pirate."

"""I say, this bloody coffee tastes like mud!...."" "" It should sir, it was ground this morning."""

"A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need. Edit: missed a word"

"Grow it out for the summer Nice one liner I thought of today- What do you think? Should I grow my wrists out for the summer? Or cut them now?"

"My girlfriend asked me to stop playing mind games. I looked confused and asked, ""Who are you again?"""

"What's the difference between the mailman and the priest? The mailman doesn't come on Sunday."

"A family walks into a Hotel... The Dad walks up to the desk and says ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The receptionist says ""It's regular porn you sick fuck."""

"English is difficult to learn. It can be taught through tough thorough thought, though."

"If by 'lucky' you mean I remember to clean the lint trap so it doesn't self combust, then yes, I'm up all night to get lucky. . . Again."