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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dinosaur that only eats the most delicious food? A connoisaur"

"Friend 1 ""hey dude what's your PSN name?"" Friend 2 ""did you just assume my platform!"""

"Hillary Is Like Francium... Take her *elect*ron away and she won't blow up have of America."

"I think my girlfriend might have an eating disorder I threw her onto the bed last night and my dog jumped up to retrieve her"

"Do you know the major difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps can actually finish a race."

"If Microsoft ever makes a product that doesn't suck... ...it'll be a vacuum!"

"I don't use Miracle Whip, I use Coincidental Circumstances Easily Explained by Reason Whip."

"What did the cheese vendor say to the robber? ""Hey! That's nacho cheese!"""

"What do a fly and a boner have in common? You can't go to sleep without whacking it."

"What is the difference between a dead baby and an orange? [NSFW] I don't fuck an orange after i peel its skin off"