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Joke of the Day

"fired for ""unleashing rats at work"" which is bull shit first off because they don't make leashes for rats"

"You do realize that if you save yourself for marriage, you'll only have sex like three or four times ever?"

"""LOLZ""? Really? Did you laugh so loud you fell asleep?"

"Ever since Peter was rejected by another girl again, I feel nervous every time he enters the school building. But I'm sure he brings that gun for self-defense purpose."

"If Russia tried to take Turkey from behind... ... do you think Greece would help ?"

"What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base? A flat major."

"What did the man at the gay bar say as another gentleman was leaving? Please allow me to push in your stool."

"Make the little things count... teach midgets arithmetic."

"When a track star gets best time in a race they ""Break a record"" but when I do it I've ""Falsely entered a Special Olympics event""."

"[JAIL VISITATION] WIFE: I got u a cake ME: U know I don't like sugar W: U need a BREAK, OUT of ur diet M: It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle"