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Joke of the Day

"fired for ""unleashing rats at work"" which is bull shit first off because they don't make leashes for rats"

"Happy birthday George Lucas. To celebrate we'll be removing the iconic happy birthday song from your party & replacing it with a worse song."

"Wouldn't it be messed up if we found out Rome was built in like 23.5 hours?"

"What's the best way to dispose of bodies? Put the ashes in the donuts."

"Fact: A good beer will not lose its label after sitting in a cooler of ice water all week. Related: Why is there still beer in the cooler??"

"Adam and Eve Did you know Eve was the first carpenter? She made Adam's banana stand."

"Poker is like sex... If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand"

"Why did God give man a penis? So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up."

"I started 2016 with a goal to lose 20 pounds Only 30 more to go and I'm there!"

"Dyslexic man walks into a bra Funny or nah?"