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Joke of the Day

"Why was the firewood punished? It was knotty."

"Those who say there is no such thing as a stupid question have obviously never worked in tech support..;)"

"There is no ""I"" in ""team."" But there's an ""I"" in ""Tim,"" and my friend Carlos pronounces it ""team"" so....there"

"Top two sprees: 2) killing; 1) shopping"

"[company meeting] Manager: $5000 in office supplies have gone missing. We are making some changes. Me: [in paper clip chainmail, sweating]"

"Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there what are you taking for it? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?"

"Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist? He never learned to mix the colors"

"ME: I'm gonna plug my Twitter handle. WIFE: Please don't. ME: I'm gonna do it *walks to the microphone in front of the funeral*"

"They say your memory is the first thing to go But I can't remember losing that"

"What do you call two guys with no arms or legs hanging from a window? Curt and Rod"