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Joke of the Day

"Whats green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea!"

"What is Will Smith's favorite type of forensic evidence? Fresh prints."

"What does a tight-rope walker eat for breakfast? A Balanced Diet!"

"I tweet because it's fun and I like the validation, but also because one day it'll prove to a jury how crazy I am."

"What's the best way to hunt for deer? Driving at midnight."

"Wife: ""Notice anything?"" Me: ""Is it your hair, shoes, dress, eyelashes, mascara, lipstick, or nails?"" Wife: ""You forgot to wear pants."""

"Where did Suzie go after the bombing? Everywhere"

"Two people have knocked on my door this morning so I did what any grown adult would do and hid."

"Hey, strippers named ""Elantra"". It's too late to grow some self respect but at least read Car and Driver before picking a name."

"I just found out JFK was jewish. He was shot in the temple."