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Joke of the Day

"Celebrities are just like everyone else, they shouldn't be allowed to speak about politics unless they're saying something I agree with."

"hi What did the painter say to the paint can? A lot of good you are . (the joke is that the paint can is empty)"

"Whoever gets the gift from me that has scissors under the wrapping paper, I'm going to need those back."

"What's going be America's largest export once Trump gets elected? Americans."

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Give a man a poison fish and feed him for the rest of his life."

"Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's? Never mind, I forgot."

"Welcome to anxiety club, I really hope more people show up. Maybe there was a terrible accident and everyone that was coming is now dead"

"What's the difference between a zit and a priest? Zit waits until you're a teenager before it cums in your face."

"I started cheating on my wife for better BDSM Whoops, wrong sub."

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Israel? Hillary won't suck Bill's dick."