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Joke of the Day

"Things presently more popular than Congress: - shingles - those annoying stickers they put on apples - tofurkey - bone fractures - road ham"

"Today I asked out a belayer at an indoor climbing place. She said no... She let me down."

"The guy that invented the heimlich maneuver died today... needless to say I'm a little choked up"

"Dad, why is my cousin called Porsche? Dad: Because her father likes Porsche cars. Son: Thanks dad. Dad: You're welcomed, young boy."

"Little to no thought was put into this status."

"Bro, your girl is so basic bitch Her shoe size is 14"

"A joke I thought of: I don't know if fo' sho' means ""for short"" or ""for shore"", but I like to think that people are being overly nautical."

"What do you get if you cut an avocado into 6.02 * 10^23 pieces? Guacamole."

"What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A pecking order."

"Guys love it when you rest your head on their shoulder at the movie theatre. Their girlfriends however... not so much."