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Joke of the Day

"Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak"

"So I heard that back in the day Hammurabi was actually Jewish... yea, they actually called him Hammurabbi. ^badum ^tsssssss ^^^please ^^^^don't ^^^^^hurt ^^^^^^me"

"My vacuum cleaner is so good it collects dust even when I don't use it."

"Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) A bunch of freeloaders lie around in bed & support themselves by violating child labor laws."

"Are your parents Laptop memory? Cause you are SO DIMM."

"I want to glisten like a Budweiser beer and attract men, but here I am sweating casually for no one."

"What happens when you sing a country music song backwards? You get your wife, truck, and land back."

"What did one black guy say to another black guy? We're both black guys."

"When I go to Subway I always bring a pair of pants that are 10 times to big for me and high five all the workers."

"Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory."