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Joke of the Day

"Pro Tip: If you're on a fishing boat and someone calls you Chum, they're probably not being friendly."

"Yeah I can take a hint. I'm not going to though."

"""If you started at 16 and work until you're 23. That would give you 10 years of experience."" Back to school for you My friend!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Brewster ! Brewster who ? Brewsters can wake you up in the morning singing cock-a-doodle doo !"

"What's a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer!"

"My buddy just came over with his eyebrows waxed... The light had them shining so much it looked like both of his eyes just came up with the best idea."

"Christian Bale has done ok for himself considering he's named after a religious bundle of hay."

"My ex-wife still misses me... BUT 'ER AIM IS GETTIN' BETTER! ...'ER AIM IS GETTIN' BETTER! ......you see, i...it's funny because marriage is terrible."

"(after bedtime) 3:DADDY COME INTO MY ROOM! Me: go to sleep. 3:YOU HAVE TO COME IN BECAUSE I CAN'T HEAR YOU M: yes you can 3:NO I CAN'T"

"Now my friends all hate me because I've been keeping my enemies closer."