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Joke of the Day

"Accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat today & I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying ""curiosity was here"""

"Bob: Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

"How do you know when your at a gay barbecue? When all the hot dogs taste like shit."

"I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel."

"Men? On the whole, I'd rather buy new batteries."

"In the medical community, death is referred to as ""Chuck Norris Disease"""

"Why did the hipster burn his fingers? because he changed the light bulb before it was cool"

"I like my men like I like my coffee... ground up and in the freezer."

"What is 007's favorite subject at school? Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!"

"A Baby Whale asks his father where he came from... His father says, ""My penis, son."" ""Oh, thanks Dad"" ""You're Whalecum"""