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Joke of the Day

"There are plenty of fish in the sea... ...but until I catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod."

"Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit!"

"Sometimes you just need to reach out and touch someone. With a shovel. On the side of the head."

"For sale: The entire Internet on 33,674,964,367 DVDs. Or without porn, on 54 DVDs."

"What's the best thing about fucking a transvestite? Reaching around the front and thinking, just for a second, that's it's gone all the way through"

"-This is my son Michelangelo. -Oh, like the artist. -Um no like the Ninja Turtle."

"What kind of dish does LeBron like? anything with curry in it."

"How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!"

"I just saw a pizza delivery guy get in a terrible accident. I feel so bad. Someone's just sitting around, wondering where their pizza is."

"Humans are bad at being basketballs."