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Joke of the Day

"What is black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & blue? A nun falling down the stairs"

"I hate when people tell me to have a safe flight. Like I have a choice. It's either back home, or in a swamp. I'll try really hard to live."

"""You should leave your wife..."" The secret note I leave on my husband's windshield every morning..."

"What did the black pedophile say? ""Hey kid, wanna help me snatch some candy?"""

"If a guy lives in a Spanish speaking country. And has last name is Rita. He would be Senor Rita."

"What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale? Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee."

"Active voice: I loved your book Passive voice: Your book was loved Passive-aggressive voice: I love how you felt the need to write a book"

"What did the pirate pirate say on his 80th birthday? ""I can't believe I'm still illegally downloading movies at this age!"""

"Damn girl are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and wont shut the fuck up."

"I once illegally parked my vechile at a Foot Fetishists Convention to grab some good next door My vehicle got toed."