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Joke of the Day
"Heard about the fruit that became a president? He got impeached."
Next Joke
"Cop: You look pretty beat up, how many attackers did you say there was? [flashback to me showing the cat my nunchuk skills] Me: Easily 10"
"I wanted the day off work today so I phoned my boss to tell him I was sick... He said ""You don't sound sick."" I said ""I'm fucking my sister, is that sick enough for you?"" Well... I got the day off."
"Q: Why do blondes have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex."
"Why aren't there many dead baby jokes anymore? They don't age well."
"I went to the Reddit tennis tournament. All the servers were busy."
"My science teacher said he was going to show me his transistor. Imagine my surprise when a woman with a penis showed up."
"I'm going out with two anorexic girls, Two birds, one stone"
"How does a streetwalker sing and give bj-s at the same time? She takes off her glass eye"
"You know what the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is? A drunk doesn't have to go to all those fuckin meetings."