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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING: 30 people feared soothed in Yankee Candle fire."

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"Dyslexics are teople poo!"
"A Muslim walks into a bar. No one survived the blast."
"I once called a psychic. She asked who was on the line, so I hung up."
"I don't really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there."
"What do you call the ring that worms leave round the bath ? The scum of the earth !"
"[In the beginning, God created the heavens and earth...] EARTH: yo GOD: what? EARTH: send nudes GOD: *creates Adam & Eve* EARTH: nice"
"BARTENDER: I think you've had enough sir. DRUNK: I just lost my wife buddy! BARTENDER: Well it must be hard losing a wife.... DRUNK: It was almost impossible!"
"How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend? Marriage, you wanna?"
"What do you call a Hawaiian homosexual? A tropical fruit."