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Joke of the Day

"A girl posted a status in her facebook wall ""I got my period today."" 20 boys liked it. 10 boys commented, ""Thank God."""

"*stands on scanner at self checkout, weighing self after keying in mango code, just to see what net worth is in mangoes"

"Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said ""May I please have a cigarette?"". I can't believe kids this age are already so polite."

"What is it called when one punches a stripper? A hoedown!"

"Soap addiction I used to be addicted to soap. But I'm clean now!!"

"Doctor: How long have you been in pain? Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997"

"If you had an orgy without any Scottish people... You'd be getting off scot-free."

"I accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book. Not only was I embarrassed it cost me more than $50 in stamps."

"WIFE: this year, can you put the santa presents out for the kids christmas morning? GUY WHO NEVER FOUND OUT SANTA CLAUS ISN'T REAL: what"

"Philip Seymour Hoffman use to be my favorite actor... But now he's dead to me."