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Joke of the Day

"Los Angeles education Trying to give my kids an education in Los Angeles is a nightmare. The guns, the gangs, the drugs -- and I'm home schooling them."

"Whats the difference between a prostitute with chronic diarrhea and an epileptic oyster fisherman? The prostitute fucks between shits and the oyster fisherman shucks between fits."

"just saw a political argument on twitter that ended with everyone deciding that they disagreed but respected each other's opinions lol jk"

"Oh good, I've made this mistake before so I know what to expect."

"What do you call Dracula when he goes swimming? Aqua-Vlad"

"How to fall down stairs Step 1 Step 6 Step 8, 9, 11, 12"

"Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Oh my... not that close. I can't breathe. How are you so strong? LET ME GO TINY DANCER"

"There are many effective ways of inviting me to your event but doing it on Facebook is definitely not one of them."

"What's the difference between you and a brick? Bricks can get laid."

"Really sucks for those addicted to Apple products... ...now there is no *escape*"