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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster burn his tounge on his coffee? Cus he drank it before it was cool..."

"Why is Theresa May so against Porn? When she clearly loves fucking a whole country at once with the world watching."

"What did the leper say after he was finished with the prostitute? Keep the tip."

"You know how some dogs turn around several times before lying down and going to sleep? They must be watch dogs. That's how they unwind."

"just got my nipples pierced! and they gave me a discount because I have so many!"

"CW: if you repeatedly see a cardinal, it's the spirit of a loved one. I think that's my mom Me: that's nice. Your mom just shit on that guy"

"Press 1 for English Press 2 For Spanish Press 1 or 2 for Indian"

"My son just asked what erectile dysfunction is so I told him it's when your anaconda don't want none regardless of the presence of buns."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bridget ! Bridget who ? London Bridget is falling down falling down... !"

"Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, was quite skinny, and apparently had bad breath. That'd make him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis"