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Joke of the Day

"Let's make a deal. You sing Christmas music in the office and I'll leave 5 minutes early to let the air out of your tires. Deal?"

"What do fish smoke? Seewead"

"You know when doctors leave the room they are just checking Web MD right?"

"I told this woman that I still had not forgotten how to make a spacerocket. You can not forget what you never learned."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? ...I can't jelly my dick up your ass (courtesy of my younger brother, lol)"

"What is Obama's least favorite Christmas Carol? Let It Snowden."

"You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You can't find something? MOM!"

"Did your mom get those plane tickets? I'm taking her to pound town"

"Did you hear about the eskimo couple? One cold night, she broke it off!"

"What's long, dark, hard and grotesque but very satisfying to beat? Bloodborne"