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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirates least favorite letter? Dear Sir/Ma'am We are cutting your internet connections for the following reasons: 1. Illegal downloading. Thank you, and have a nice day."

"{At the art museum with my newborn son} baby: dada? Me: it's impressionist you stupid baby"

"LPT: what to do when someone is having a seizure in a bathtub Throw in a load of laundry."

"What's the top song by the Vietnamese Beatles? Rice Fields Forever."

"Did you hear about the terrible kidnapping? Yeah. He woke up. :)"

"What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love? A stupid Cupid!"

"Please can anyone remind if the world has ended? I need to add it to the minutes for my gay agenda."

"Typed in ""My Penis"" for a password Said it was ""too long."""

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate a tit a lot."

"I like being handcuffed, but not plant heroin in my car, handcuffed."