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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirates least favorite letter? Dear Sir/Ma'am We are cutting your internet connections for the following reasons: 1. Illegal downloading. Thank you, and have a nice day."

"Faster than a speeding bullet ...... more powerful than a locomotive ...... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises."

"I'm always delighted when people stick their noses in my business - my company makes paper tissues."

"I'm going to tell you a joke about a broken pencil........ Never mind. It's pointless."

"Where can you find a mormon horse? Salt Lick City."

"I'm in an Uber going 100mph the wrong way on the freeway and the driver's girlfriend keeps calling and screaming at him on speakerphone"

"I wanted to take a grad level Psych class on Freud, in my sophomore year. But the professor wouldn't let me. She said I was too Jung"

"I Got Ebola :D Ebola icecream!"

"With a calendar, your days are numbered."

"I went to an ATM... I was at an ATM this morning and this older lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over."