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Joke of the Day
"I knew a fat doctor once, who was obsessed with the weather. He was a meaty urologist."
Next Joke
"I just lost my virginity!!!! April fools *sob*"
"I nearly puked on my girlfriend, but she moved out of the way just in time She ducked my sick"
"[helping my kid with contractions] Me: Would've Her: Would have M: Nice. I'll H: I will M: Good. Won't H: Won not M: Excellent"
"Why shouldn't you make fun of Donald Trump? You'll hurt his feeling."
"You know how people say they'll pray for you? I bet they don't. Assholes."
"I told my dentist to make my teeth whiter.. so he named them Logan and moved them to a gated community."
"We put a man on the moon yet we still keep using the same dated scientific progress analogy."
"Did you hear about the weird music that plays at Mozarts grave.... Don't worry, He's decomposing."
"How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb? Well it depends on what you mean by change."