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Joke of the Day

"Conspiracy theories aren't real. They're all lies made by the government."

"My girlfriend's a crappy computer ... she always shuts down when I need her but never shuts up when I don't."

"I recently started using a few drugs I draw the line at using cocaine though"

"Q. Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a race? A. Because all his friends shout ""GO-RILLA!"""

"Have you ever played AD Soraka? It's bananas!"

"What do you call a Paraplegic runner? A Boston Marathon Victim."

"How do we know that Jesus was made of bread? Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen."

"Life advice: If someone ever tells you ""I'll be there in thirty minutes"", you should ALWAYS respond with ""You've got twenty"" and hang up."

"*at interview* Him: What would you say are your strengths? Me: Words Him: Can you say more? Me: More Him: Me: I'm also good at directions"

"Hurricanes are like a divorce in West Virginia There's lots of yelling and screaming, and somebody looses a trailer. -joke from my chem teacher today"