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Joke of the Day

"Conspiracy theories aren't real. They're all lies made by the government."

"ER Dr: What are you doing? Me: I'm decorating. ER Dr: Why? Me: According to my bill I live here now."

"Argon walks into a bar... bartender says, ""we don't serve your kind"". Argon doesn't react. How noble of him."

"What did the waiter say to the customer complaining about a dirty bowl? This is unacceptable."

"Friend: I'm surprised to see you eating a salad. Me: *empties bag of chocolate chips over it*"

"Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked. So did all the other people at the post office."

"Hey, baby, I wish you were my definite integral so you'd be the thing underneath me."

"what do you call a Black man with a small dick? By his name you racist fuck!"

"""It seems like many polls are turning against you. How do you respond?"" TRUMP: They should be sent back to Poland. Very dangerous people."

"My wife likes to talk on the phone when she's having sex. The other day, she called me from a hotel."