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Joke of the Day
"""That's what."" -She"
Next Joke
"If you send more than one Facebook invitation to the same thing, I will come & shit right in the middle of whatever it is."
"Both Christmas and New Years fell on a weekend this year, which had to suck for the four or five of you that still have jobs."
"Did some Doomsday Prepping today Have enough food for 71 minutes"
"If you type a <3 but you end up with < you should go to the doctor because your heart is pounding."
"I asked the pizza place to write a joke in my pizza box. They delivered... the pizza with nothing written inside."
"WIFE: you need a haircut ME: I do not WIFE: *whistles and a little bird pops up on top of my head, chirping* ME: shhhh, she just had babies"
"If you're having second thoughts, you're 2 ahead of most people."
"Shrodingers cat walks in to a bar and doesn't."
"Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because the parrots eat them all"