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Joke of the Day

"A thief broke into my house last night. He was searching for money, ...so I woke up and started searching with him."

"If I was a villain, my weapon would be a fan and a bag of eyelashes for blinding superheroes I'm a villain, don't ask how I get my weapons"

"A lady just walked into Taco Bell, dumped every hot sauce packet in her bag and left. I should follow her. What's the rest of her day like?"

"I'm ready for the cop-buddy film where they actually get along in the beginning but hate each other by the end."

"What kind of shoe does Mr. T wear? T-shoes!"

"What's Iraq's favourite sitcom? Men behaving Baghdadly."

"Sometimes my kid likes me, but I'm pretty sure it's only because I'm his Oreo dealer."

"In general, girls don't like to be described as ""beefy"". Even if you love beef."

"Facebook: The only place where you get excited when strangers follow you."

"If meat is murder..... Than are blowjobs cannibalism?"