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Joke of the Day

"Why do sharks swim in salt water? Because pepper would make them sneeze!"

"To whom do fish go to borrow money ? The loan shark !"

"I had to put my dog down today. My arms were getting tired."

"People are always talking about how popular Steve Jobs was.. But I don't think he'll ever be as popular as his brother, Hand."

"How do you piss off a female archaeologist? Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from."

"I found a bloodsucking vampire in my house today. I don't know how the lawyer got in but I had to chase him out with a broom."

"I invented a new word the other day. Plagiarism."

"The chances of Donald Trump being elected."

"Why do they say I'm black in the bedroom? I'm fast."

"What's between an old woman's breasts that's not between a young woman's breasts? a navel.."