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Joke of the Day

"Remember people, good manners is what separates us from the French."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Off duty cop: No *cop gets so close their mustaches interlock like velcro* You're driving great, pal"

"Why should you never shower with Pokemon? Because he may Pikachu"

"Two detectives are at a crime scene. They locate a briefcase that is vital evidence to the investigation. One of the detectives says to the other ""It's an open-and-shut case""."

"I'm surprised carving faces into vegetables after pulling out their innards isn't incorporated into more American Holidays."

"There's two things I hate in this world Racism, and the French"

"A high five is like a regular five that laughs at everything and gets the munchies."

"What did Bernie Madoff say to Bernie Sanders? I'll take your money!"

"(NSFW) My first experience with sex was a lot like getting my first car I didn't really want it but my dad gave it to me anyway"

"Earth is huge. There must be like 9 or 10 different countries on this thing."