144652

Joke of the Day

"How do you confuse a drummer? Give him sheet music"

"I want to start an all Chinese, Iron Maiden cover band It'll be called Maiden China"

"What do you call a 5 year-old with no friends [dark] A Sandy hook survivor. C.o. my fucked up cousin"

"Willie: ""I have an awful toothache."" Tommie: ""I'd have it taken out if it was mine."" Willie: ""Yes if it was yours I would too."""

"*lays head on homeless guys lap* ""You would not believe the day I had"""

"As I see it, the act of lovemaking should be sacred, caring, and worth the 200 bucks I charge for it."

"Some people are really tired after abortions... It's like they got life sucked out of them."

"I don't understand romantic movies, why waste all that time with the complicated, man-hating main character when her slut friend is cuter."

"Yo Momma so ugly.. She look like Darth Vader naked."

"""Too soon"" joke? Did you hear about that International France Futball game last night? I heard it was the bomb."