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Joke of the Day

"Locked myself out of my office 3 times today if anyone's looking for a responsible adult"

"Two birds are sat on a perch, when one says to the other.. ""Do you smell fish?"""

"Why are cars in Russia so slow? Because they are always stalin."

"Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?- Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bullet ! Bullet who ? Bullet all the hay and now he's hungry !"

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? Only a hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."

"I got fucked by a priest 15 years ago... I still remeber his exact words...He said, ""You may now kiss the bride""!"

"Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name But Imma call you ""Hal"" for short, 'k, Chief?"

"I was pretty sure I've been dead and in hell for the past three hours until I was informed the air conditioner isn't working."

"A few weeks ago I wrote happy Eid to the Muslims and autocorrect changed it to Happy IED. It almost blew up in my face."