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Joke of the Day

"4 out of 5 people say Han shot first He actually shot 5th"

"How Wonderful Did you hear the story of the man that had the great honor of being crushed by a steam roller? He was flattered"

"Just went to Walgreens & they're a bunch of liars. Their walls were more of a beige color. I'm suing."

"I, for one, like Roman Numerals"

"At least she didn't say swallow. What's the difference between a teacher and a train? One says: ""Spit your gum out."" the other says: ""Chew Chew."" /Badum cshhhh"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea? I'm not spending $100 to have a garbanzo on my face."

"Why did the librarian hush the mime? Because actions speak louder than words."

"To some, it's known as ""soda."" Some call it ""pop."" Some even order it as ""coke"" or ""cola."" The spicy bubble brown juice goes by many names"

"Why did the zookeeper take a piss on the seel? He couldn't hold it."

"The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch."