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Joke of the Day
"and asks for a drink. A time traveller walks into a bar"
Next Joke
"Q: Why did the suspenders get arrested? A: Because they held up a pair of pants."
"What did the businessman say to the other businessman? We're both businessmen."
"When we first dated I thought your freckles were dots of inexcusable cuteness. Now I can see how joined up they draw a pentagram."
"My girlfriend is in Mexico for vacation and if she has a Juan night stand while she's down there, her and I are totally done."
"He died doing what he loved: being alive"
"Ever feel a little ""too"" relaxed? Is your day going ""pretty ok""? Are you enjoying doing a thing? Introducing ""Panic Attacks"" Panic AttacksTM"
"I got a job at the circus. I had to circumcise the elephants. The wages weren't great but the tips were enormous."
"""Daddy, did you know Pluto was recently reclassified as a dwarf planet, or plutoid?"" ""Sweetie, I'm pretty sure he's a dog."""
"I've been having a bad feeling lately.. I think one of my dads might be gay."