16195

Joke of the Day

"I offer kid $1 to do a chore. He sticks dollar in pocket. I get dollar back on laundry day. Lather. Rinse. Repeat!"

"Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?"

"Why do some places have keys for the restroom? They're afraid somebody might steal their shit."

"TIL if Steve Irwin had worn sunscreen that fateful day, he would have survived. Apparently it protects against harmful rays."

"Cleavage is like the Sun, you can glance at it for only a second, but if you wear sunglasses, you can look much longer."

"I left my house for a five-mile-run this morning. But when I got a block away, I had to turn around and go back because I forgot something. I forgot I can't run five miles."

"I've replaced my neighbors toothpaste with Napalm, and left him a free pack a cigarettes. Now we wait."

"What do you call a little girl who's very close to her dog? Nina"

"Why do rednecks like to do it doggie style? So they both can watch Nascar."

"What type of fruit is not allowed to get married? Cantaloupe..."