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Joke of the Day

"""wow with attitude like this do you even have friends"" me: yes in fact i have all 10 seasons of it"

"You were the hot single in your area the whole time."

"They say that you are safer in a bigger group Unless you're with 6 million...and everyone is jewish"

"I've had to break up with my imaginary girlfriend. I've started seeing someone else."

"What did the O say to the 8? Nice belt."

"What do you call a bunch of unicorns? A unicornucopia."

"Lottery- Gilbert Gottfried A man comes home to his wife and says ""Honey pack your bags I just won the lottery!"" She says ""What should I pack?"" He says ""I don't care just pack and get the fuck out!"""

"I was going to make a chemistry joke But I know I won't get a reaction"

"I feel more shame when someone glances at my computer or phone and catches me looking at Facebook, than I would if it were porn."

"What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?"