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Joke of the Day

"""wow with attitude like this do you even have friends"" me: yes in fact i have all 10 seasons of it"

"What kind of food do zombies hate? Fast food"

"I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate."

"I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up last night. I was like OMg."

"Why can't astronauts stay in a long term relationship? They need space."

"Got asked to help unlock a PDF file today..... I said stop wasting your time, we should be concentrating on locking them up."

"I was going to join the debating team in high school, but someone talked me out of it."

"Jared Fogle began and ended his career the same way... Trying to get into smaller pants"

"HULK WANT LOAN Bank: We can't loan to people like you. GREEN PEOPLE?? *flips table into moon* Bank: People owing 2.6B in property damage."

"What's Sad About Lunch in Ethiopia? There is no lunch."