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Joke of the Day

"Why are black people afraid of motorcycles? They'd get caught in the chain."

"Which porn video release are you most looking forward to? I'm excited about the next but one"

"I can get into aquariums for free, because I donated a whale! I guess my ex's sister was useful for something after all."

"My girlfriend has really changed since she became a vegetarian... ...sometimes I feel like I've never seen herbefore."

"What do pygmy cannibals eat for breakfast? Weedie Bix!!"

"Apparently they're removing the essay section from the SAT Now it's just going to be called the T."

"Me: I'm in the mood for dessert *winks at wife* [2 hours later] Wife: *in lingerie, texts* WHERE R U Me: *texts* Getting ice cream. Y?"

"You're the only one who understands me, last remaining sleeve of Oreo cookies."

"She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction."

"Why did the bee go to the doctor? Because he had hives Badum tsh"