161620

Joke of the Day

"Me and my wife are married for so long that she can finish all of my sentences And the middle, sometime even the start, too"

"How do you know your dog is gay? When his dick tastes like your husband's ass"

"George Washington's underage brother got into taverns by using the dollar as a fake ID."

"The lengths I'm willing to go to avoid somebody I know in a supermarket could count as cardio."

"""DADDY!?!"" (toddler calling out) Me: ""Daddy's upstairs but can I help you with something?"" ""Yes. You can go get Daddy."""

"We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police."

"What is Jackie Chan's favorite drink? WA-TAAAAH!"

"Playing guitar is a sin... ...after all, Jesus told his disciples to ""fret not."""

"How to ruin a joke: By reposting it several times in less than an hour"

"How much coke did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men."