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Joke of the Day

"Me and my wife are married for so long that she can finish all of my sentences And the middle, sometime even the start, too"

"Wonder when that family from Russia is going to realize I took a selfie instead of a photo of them standing in front of the Chinese Theatre."

"I can not fathom how some people are exactly 6 feet tall."

"Why do tigers always beat cheetahs at hide-and-seek? They've never been spotted."

"The best part about being an abortionist..? [NSFW] I haven't had to buy dog food in a long, long time."

"You must have been born on a highway... Beacuse that's where most accidents happen"

"5 minutes into America's Got Talent and I learned we don't have talent, we have a bunch of delusional idiots that don't want real jobs."

"As a kid I've always wanted to be Batman when I grew up but then i was disappointed by a sudden realization... I have parents"

"This guy at my work fell into the upholstery machine today. Don't worry, hes fully recovered."

"A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it's fun to push things down the stairs."