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Joke of the Day

"They say if you love something you should let it go... So why am I going to jail for leaving my kid in Walmart?"

"I have Facebook like reflexes. ""Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?"" *throws a book and hits you right in the face*"

"At Twitter HQ J: Users haven't complained in a while, what's going on? Devs: Oh, we've got just the thing *releases update"

"Why don't people tell Jim Jones jokes? The punchline is too long."

"I would tell you a joke about sodium chloride... But its a bit too salty."

"What do you call a fish poop born out of wedlock? A bass-turd"

"10 Type of people in this world There are 10 type of people in this world. People that understand binary, and people that don't."

"Why don't renovators paint floors? It's beneath them."

"*guy looks around to see if anyone is looking* *sees the coast is clear, licks tree* And that's how they found out about maple syrup"

"when i was a kid, i thought getting arrested for shoplifting meant getting in trouble for trying to carry a store like popeye or something"