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Joke of the Day

"Sound is slower than light... That's why some people appear to be smart before they open their mouth"

"/r/creepy I mean seriously, one was just an open door."

"I used to work at an orange juice factory... I got fired cuz I couldn't concentrate"

"What is orange and sounds like a carrot A carrot"

"What do you call an exercise group run by Jesus Christ? Crossfit."

"Ever since we lowered our ceilings here at the shipyard, sails have gone through the roof."

"I don't mind people that stick their noses in the air. It makes it that much easier to trip them or push them down 10 flights of stairs."

"Burglar gently waking me... ""you live like this?"""

"What was Mark Hamill's reaction when he finished reading The Force Awakens script? Speechless"

"Why was General Yoda afraid of April? Because March, April May."