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Joke of the Day

"Roy Hodgson has some really important decisions to make now. Like if he wants a window or aisle seat."

"Why are paraplegics bad project teammates? They never carry their own weight."

"Hey teacher, i made a clock! ""Did you say Allahu Akbar?"""

"What do you call it when a bison borrows money from you? A buffa*loan.*"

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face"

"During lunch, what did one Soldier say to the other Soldier? Want some Turkey?"

"""I have an unsolicited opinion on that!"" --Every douche blanket on Twitter."

"Planes are the bomb. Imagine the impact they had on 9/11"

"How do you reuse a condom? You turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it."

"Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention."