144940

Joke of the Day

"What do prisoners use to talk to each other? Cell phones."

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster-shucker and a hooker with diarrhea? One shucks between fits, and the other fucks between shits."

"Why was the prostitute so good at her job? It was in her whoremoans."

"'What I'm about to say is extremely important!!' -Drunk people"

"What is the strongest animal? A racehorse because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at once!"

"Did you hear the one about the two guys who voted no? Neither did aye."

"BUILD A MAN A FIRE... BUILD A MAN A FIRE AND HE'LL BE WARM FOR A DAY SET A MAN ON FIRE, HE'LL BE WARM FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE."

"Where do avocados come from? Uh, well, when a crocodile loves a pear very much..."

"If you sit beside me, you're part of my drumkit."

"What do you call an islander killed by a car? Polygon (sorry)"