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Joke of the Day
"What did the tie say to the neck? I think I'll just hang around."
Next Joke
"Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks."
"""You Americans are so uptight!"" dude from Europe who just kissed your girlfriend on the mouth"
"What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic? A Juand"
"I'm going to do 100 lunges with my left leg within 2 minutes. It's going to be very challunging."
"Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson? The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library."
"What do you call an snobbish Mongolian ruler going down the stairs? A condescending Khan descending."
"What do you call two nuts on the wall? Walnuts. What do you call two nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call two nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."
"[hospital] *crying* Jim it's your turn to change the baby *picks up baby* -Ok brb *comes back holding a black baby* -I think they're onto us"
"What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard? Figuring out what to tell you about first."