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Joke of the Day
"Boy am I stuffed! I finally finished eating the bag of salt I got for Christmas"
Next Joke
"I was in a gang once. We wore blue, traveled in packs, and ruled our turf with shiny instruments...wait. Band. I was in the marching band."
"What do you call a bad Italian neighborhood? The spaghetto."
"You must hate it when people make assumptions about you."
"It must be terribly disappointing to go through the trouble of blowing oneself up only to discover 72 twenty year olds playing Warcraft."
"We are the people our parents warned us about."
"If I don't charge my iPad at the beginning of the week I spend the whole time just trying to catch up to 100%."
"My neighbor, an elderly prostitute, adopted a puppy and asked me if I could help train it. I told her ""No sorry, you can't teach an old trick's new dog."""
"A very busty woman whispers to me ""I want you to tell me if these look real"" my eyes widen, then she takes out pictures of the moon landing"
"I saw an image of Jesus in my breakfast burrito. I asked myself, what would Jesus do? And so I ate him. Two hours later... Holy Shit!"