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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather's final words before he kicked the bucket were... ""I'm gonna kick this bucket!"""

"Where is the lift? American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language."

"Who is the favourite communist leader of all the cats? Mao"

"A dashcam video of a cop lip-syncing and dancing to a Taylor Swift song went viral, which is just one more reason to hate the police."

"What does the cannibal think after seeing a wheelchair user? Meals on Wheels"

"What is better than a cold Bud? A warm bush."

"Where do dogs go when they lose their tails? To a retail store."

"Two men of African American descent are standing on the edge of a dock, peeing into the lake. The first man says, ""Water's cold today huh?"" The second one replies, ""Yeah...and deep too."""

"People always comment about how young I look. I just tell them it's because of all the placenta I've been eating."

"What do running shoes and Neo-Nazis have in common? Both make Jews run faster! (Sorry, but as an agnostic Jew myself, I hope that it's okay for me to make this joke.)"