159613

Joke of the Day

"Coworker: Do u have a phone charger? Me: No. CW: How about the 1 on your desk? Me: WHO ARE U CALLING A JIGGABOO LINDA?! CW: OMG! *runs away*"

"What do you get when you minus Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear...? ... A smile !"

"Shout out to the ampersand for always being willing to stand in the gap & help make our tweets complete by giving back those extra two lette"

"I started studying abroad today... ... The first thing I learned is that they don't like being called broads."

"*puts on strapless bra *takes an extra Prozac"

"Accountant: Mr Cage, you are flat broke. *flashback to applying for a loan wearing John Travolta's face* Nick Cage: I already handled it"

"Why couldn't the snowman spend his money? Cause his assets were frozen."

"Apparently its true. Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard."

"Dragons have tattoos of Asian chicks on their backs."

"only 10 to live Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""