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Joke of the Day

"Damn, ref. Is your phone on vibrate? Because you sure as hell missed that pass interference call on Sherman!"

"I've just ordered a procrastinating blowup doll with real orgasm effect It's coming tomorrow"

"1 out of 5 dentists is illiterate, and could not complete the survey."

"When you're a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them."

"My better half said period jokes aren't clever So I wound up discarding 3 pages of jokes i had expounded on the Victorian period."

"On this day eleven years ago, Greece won Euro 2004. Today, Greece would be happy with 2004 Euros."

"I'm lucky enough to be ambidextrous. It's just a shame I'm a lefty."

"how did the Russian babysitter win the race? She got ahead LOL"

"Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else."

"The child that I carried in my uterus for 9 months & suffered through 13 hrs of labor for just asked if he could have my pickle. Hell. No."