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Joke of the Day

"Yo mumma so fat.. Yo mumma so fat that she needs two wristwatches, one on each hand because she's in two timezones. NOTE: I'm Australian so I spell the word mum with an 'u'"

"Laurie got offended just because I used the word ""puke"" But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like."

"What do you call the sweat between two rednecks having sex? Relative humidity!"

"Pretty Punny! What did the cat stripper say when she found out she was being replaced by a younger pussy?????? You've gotta be Kitten me!"

"What do you call the memory of a camping trip? Past Tents"

"My Ex-Girlfriend is Like a Box of Chocolates She'll kill your dog."

"Tilda Swinton is what happens when a lamp from IKEA becomes self aware."

"""So you are suffering from flatulences, grandpa?"" ""Suffering? No, that's my last remaining pleasure!"""

"Why do we call dogs, K-9? ...because K-10 is for cats."

"Where does a homeless accountant live? In a tax shelter."