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Joke of the Day

"What do they do in Alabama when their car breaks down? Build a house next to it."

"Life has taught me if you go to the store for milk and you're high, you won't buy milk. You will spend half your rent on hot pockets though."

"Did you hear about the two horses? They were in a stable relationship... ...but one of them had an extra mareital affair."

"Why do mathematicians wear glasses? It helps improve division. [Thank you](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sting.ogg) folks, I will be here all week."

"My wife bought me a second hand watch for my birthday... Anyway, better be going. The football starts in... 1200 seconds."

"What do Rick Astley and a loyal partner in crime have in common? They'd both probably get raped in prison."

"What did the Moderate Moslem say before hitting a guy for criticizing his religion? It's alright, reddit'll say this had nothing to do Islam."

"Dad always said, ""Never get on one knee for a girl... ...who won't get on both for you."""

"I won the drowning competition. Wanna know my secret? Well, don't hold your breath!"

"Every TEDTalk seems like a fake laugh convention."