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Joke of the Day

"Texting chemists. ""Where are you?"" ""Out getting some potassium."" ""Umm...K?"" ""Yeah exactly."" ""..."""

"prayers by believers to a ""Sweet Jesus"" imply additional deities: Sour Jesus, Salty Jesus, Umami Jesus and, most frighteningly, Bitter Jesus"

"What bounces and makes kids cry? My donation cheque to ""Children in Need""."

"Jewish fun fact: If you celebrate Passover on top of an overpass, you go back in time."

"My blind friend just tried LSD for the first time... There was more tripping than usual."

"Where did Christ get his ripped abs? Cross fit"

"Why is my algebra textbook so sad? It has a lot of problems."

"Single and divorced men in their 40's prefer women at their own maturity level. That explains why they date women half their age."

"DISPATCH: we have a report of a robbery in progress four blocks from your current location HOT AIR BALLOON COP: I'll be there in 80 days"

"It's really cute how my 16 slams her bedroom door, in the house that I pay for, every time she gets pissed off. So...I took away the door"