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Joke of the Day

"Have you decided on dinner? ""Yes, I'll have the chicken, grilled."" Very good. *hears waiter yelling at chicken* WHERE WERE YOU LAST TUESDAY"

"Why did the football player go to the bank? To get his quarterback."

"What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeno business!"

"Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!"

"About to go out and make some foreign dude's night by butchering the pronunciation of the food I'll be ordering."

"Welcome to ghosts anonymous. Nice to see such a spirited turnout. *all of the ghosts boo in unison*"

"Pick out a dog at an animal shelter and everything's ok. Pick out a girlfriend at a woman's shelter and everyone loses their mind."

"Thursday is ""date night"", when I force my family to eat all the expired food in our fridge."

"Why did the campfire turn into a forest fire? It wanted to get off its ash."

"""Yoda, are we on the right track?"" ""Off course, we are."""