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Joke of the Day

"[the followin is based on a true story] *clips of me hittin my shin on my bed every nite for a year* Narrator: its like he forgets its there"

"Job interview... (Two men are in an office going through a job application) Manager: ... so, what do you do in your spare time? Applicant: I make clean calls to women and hang up."

"Benedict Cumberpatch's full name is Benedictionary Cucumbercabbagepatch."

"How do you tie two half ducks together? with ducktape!! "

"Did you hear about that spicy knight? Sir Acha."

"A muslim, a communist, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says hello Mr. President."

"What did the dog say when he chased his tail? This is the end."

"If anyone can remember the jokes from Popsicle sticks, I'll be exposed for the fraud I am"

"Inspired by a recent ELI5: ""Why is milk measured in gallons and soda in litres"", I present this oldie... Q: What comes in quarts? . . A: Elephants"

"Jesus drove a Honda but didn't talk about it... ""For I did not speak of my own Accord ..."" John 12:49"